A Guide to Comic Con 2014 By a Guy Who Isn’t There And Is In No Way Bitter About It

Comic con. That special time, once a year, when fans of movies, TV and comic books from all walks of life converge in San Diego to celebrate the things they love, and discover what they’ll be disappointed in next year.

Posted on by Greg Benevent
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Maybe you wanted to go, but have a job that doesn’t just give you four days off for really really liking Iron Man 3, or perhaps you had a ticket, and a hotel room with friends, but then they got taken away from you at the last minute, Ted, who doesn’t want anyone to know he has herpes.

                 

"Seriously Ted, we all know it's not a blister"

There’s no way around it – Comic-Con is great. It’s so much fun, it actually gets people to go from Los Angeles to San Diego. [it actually reminds Los Angelinos that San Diego exists].  Don’t feel bad about not being at Comic Con. With today’s technology, the internet, smart phones, it’s more possible than ever to almost capture the feeling of lying outside with no bathroom overnight to have the producers, writers and stars tell you that, yes, there will be another season of Game of Thrones.

               

"There was more than one season?"  

Maybe you were really looking forward to the movie version of the classic book “The Giver,” starring sexy teen heartthrobs Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep. You could just read the book again, it comes from that simpler time when teen dystopian novels didn’t have to have anything happen in them. Yes, seeing all the trailers and new footage is a lot of fun, but it’ll all be online soon, and they’ll be plenty of time to pretend that anyone has any idea what “Interstellar” will be about.

                 

"It's your basic Batman in space scenario"

The costumes are a great deal of fun, and seeing everyone in them brings out a real sense of community, but if you dress up like Batman in your bedroom, you aren’t going to be intimidated by someone’s much better Batman costume. Especially if your costume has the added detail of Special Utility 20 Extra Pounds Around the Waist.

                 

When you’re a devout fan of a franchise that’s shaped world culture like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or Star Trek, it’s really rewarding to meet other devout fans, connect with them, share experiences and laughs, and then think: “Wow, I bet their lives must’ve really been a mess. I’m not as weird as this guy, I must be better than I thought.”

               

The two most normal men at Comic Con 

At the end of the day, remember – you can always go next year. Be a part of it again. Late Sunday night, as you’re lying in your comfortable bed, remember that somewhere, there’s a guy who’s stuck in hours of traffic, or going to miss his flight, because he couldn’t get into a showing of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode that originally aired 13 years ago. His name is probably Ted, and Janice he cheated on you at least twice at that holiday party.

"I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready."

Tags: sarcasm , nerds , humor , cosplay , comics , comic con

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